Sunday, March 06, 2005
4th March 2005
Friday
People who took the A levels in 2004 received their results on that day, including me. Seeing the release of the O level results meant that my results were gonna be out soon as well. I was nervous, scared and whatever words you can use to describe. When Gurmit Singh asked one of the contestants, Kelvin Chang, from Singapore Idol last year how he felt before knowing who's gonna be voted off that night, he replied saying that it can't be worse than the agony of waiting before getting his A level results. I remembered that scene on tv because I was just a few months away from taking my As. I went through what thousands of A level students went through on friday.
Many people felt that I did well below my ability but that's what they think about me, it's not what I think about myself. Yesh, it's not the best of results but I'm not the smartest kid around. However, it's already better than what I predicted which is 3 Ds. I've never achieved a B3 grade for gp before in my entire 2 years in jjc so that's a pleasant surprise. There's no point comparing yourself with other students because the comparison is endless. I constantly seek to improve myself, comparing myself against myself. Before the lit exam, I was struggling to revise and had to go around borrowing notes.
After the pain, anguish and the nightmare of collecting my O level results, I was worried for my A level results. I was afraid lightning would strike twice. I don't think most people will know how I feel unless they've been in my shoes. I went into jjc with 19 points and I worry about clearing my promos. After clearing the promos, I worry for the mid year which eventually didn't matter because rugby prevented me from studying. It was difficult balancing sports with studies when the school doesn't give us their support. After that, I went into full swing studying for prelims and the As. I would have taken these results if you've asked me beforehand. Of course I would like to score some As and Bs but I'm realistic and I know my own abilities. I was the first one from my class to collect my results and when I saw it, I was feeling all right. It's not fair for me to comment on science students but I know taking arts in jjc isn't easy. You deal with issues in and out of the classrooms. Teachers and my friends expect alot from me and I know they meant well but the biggest battle is indeed within yourself.
Life is never a bed of roses and there's bound to be ups and downs in my life. My first obstacle came in the form of O levels results. It's the first but definitely not the last obstacles that I will face in my life. Probably more in work next time.
I was reading the last newsletter I got from jjc yesterday night and realized that many of the teachers who had taught and helped me in my 2 years had left the college. Teachers like Vadiveloo Anandaratnam(Lit) who gave me last min revisions. Paul Chow(Lit) aka Fat Man, he may be fos but his notes and wake up calls were nevertheless helpful. Ng Chan Siong(Econs), I didn't really get to know him cause I went into his class half way through the year but he is one of the nicest teachers I've got to know. Lim Pow Choo(Econs), people like Kwan Rong and me would have agreed that she's better than any tuition teachers you can find outside. She gives alot of homework but that's because she wants you to do well and to get the extra practice.
I told myself I must try my best for the As because I never never want to be one of those crying (I saw scenes of people when I was still a J2 crying because they didn't make it) and also not to repeat the mistakes I made as a sec4. I didn't want to waste time and my life away if I didn't get a full cert or I can't even get into university. It's really a waste of time for guys especially if you didn't make it because we have army. We simply don't have the time.
I don't deny the fact that I do want to study in a local university and the fact that my mother wants me to study here as well. I do want a change of environment and my father is quite supportive of that. I wanna go to Australia like my sister and get to experience life as a student there. I've got 2 years to consider what courses I'm gonna take there if I really do want to study there. I'm considering University Of Western Australia, Murdoch University and Edith Cowan University. If I wanna take Tourism or Tourism Managment, it will either be UWA or Murdoch. However, I'm quite interested in the Sports Science degree in Edith Cowan. I'm not those who like to earn their money by sitting in an office all day long. The economy is constantly changing and it's not the days of engineering and law students anymore. There's a great demand for students taking business and other stuff. Having a sports science degree will enable me to find jobs related to sports and continue my interest in them. That's just one of my options only.... I still want to teach geo in acs(I) haha....
I've learnt that as long as you want to study, there's bound to be a place for you. You just have to get pass your own mental barrier because you're not in a position to choose, people will choose for you.
2 years of studying in a jc is finally done and over with. Time to take a break for the next 2 years.
