Sunday, November 20, 2005
My absence from blogging is due to the need for me to recollect my thoughts with so much shit arising from my army life. I'll be stressing again why can't I have a normal army life just 5 days of tough training a week and weekends and public holidays are a certainty. Instead I'm stuck in a vocation where I don't even know when's the next time I'll smell my home. As a result of many people being pulled out from their duties to take part in drills for the change of command at my camp, my schedule has been changed to mount 3 days and only rest for 1 day. I've got friends who've been mounting up to 5 duties a day while we guys are away for drills. Added to the fact that I've been booking out so often this week that it's taking a toll on my wallet. It sucks to live so far away from your camp. If there's anything important like getting recalled, I think I'm gonna panic.
Not to mention that I'll be booking in at 2300 tonight to stay in for Excercise Easthawk for up to 1 week. It's like having ojt once again. After the 4 days of excercise, there's drills for coc and 2 more days of mounting. I don't know whether I've got the energy for it. Sometimes I think I'm a loser for not being able to face up to reality. Reality as in not having public holidays which mean alot to me like Christmas and New Year etc. I wish I could be as open-minded as Boon Kian and accept the fact that national service is only for 2 years. However, tried as I could, I cannot comprehend having my public holidays stolen away from me while I just stand by and do nothing. What's the use of giving me off days to compensate me. Once you miss the Christmas eve of 2005, it can never be regained back again. Thinking and talking about such stuff really makes me depressed, I wish there's somebody I can talk to but at the same time, I don't know how to put my point across to him or her.
When I was a civilian, times like these when it's towards the end of November, I'll start to feel the Christmas spirit that's in the air. Malls are starting to spruce up their buildings with decorations while shops are busy trying to entertain their customers who are in the midst of their shopping. To me, simply by just walking around malls and taking in the view, one can take in the Christmas spirit.
Singaporean guys sacrifice so much in the defence of this country.
