Friday, January 12, 2007
The trip back to camp yesterday left me with mixed feelings and I never want to experience it again if I can help it. I got a call from Jason in the late morning around 11.30am saying that we need to go back to camp because there wasn't even manpower and added to the fact that the one crab wasn't very pleased at not seeing any old birds around. It was only human nature to think that jason was joking about it but he's certainly not one who would joke about such things. I even had an unknown number on my missed call list, only to find out that it was the new giro number. It was a struggle just to answer the call being half awake because I was watching the chelsea vs wycombe match just a few hours ago. I don't really wake up before noon unless it's to answer nature's call and then it's back to my good ol bed. I wanted to like go back to bed and sleep for a while more before reality hit me and I realized that I had to go back to camp. Met jason and marcus at yishun before taking 969 to tampines. From there, we took the train to tanah merah mrt station where we met chee yong to share a cab back to east.
It felt weird as we stepped back into giro and started to wander around the guardhouse. It won't be wrong to say that I went back with the mentality of a reservist already considering that I've already spent some time away from army life. Even putting on my no.4 seemed uncomfortable and it was difficult trying to get my feet into those boots. I've heard about how a few of the new guys in my shift went for their respective operations and will be out for 3 months plus and that explains the manpower shortage. We helped out and did 1 duty from 4pm to 7pm and waited until orders were given before we could go home. Being the tired me, I slept in the locker room which was pretty cold considering that it was raining and the cold wind kept blowing in. Hock Leong joined me and he even switched on the big fan. I was too tired to care and eventually fell asleep. I was woken up by michael's phone call saying that we could go back at around 10pm and I woke up hock leong to gather at giro. It was shocking to hear that we can't go back until like midnight. I eventually left in a cab with jason and marcus for bukit gombak where we had supper. It started to pour like crazy after slight drizzle. Thanx to jason for giving me a ride home in the cab.
It would be fair to say that doing 3 to 4 duties for the new guys isn't really alot considering they've gotta start getting used to it. It's matter of when those 4 duties arrive only. Maybe it's all right to say that they're only like 1 month into their job and they probably need some more time to settle down and get used to this kind of army life. Sometimes in army, time isn't on your side. You'll be forced to grow up in short matter of time whether you like it or not. I'm sure many of us won't mind being around to help out or give some advice to them but the fact is, we won't be around forever. That's when the "grow up" thingy comes in. This doesn't just apply in army but it happens in the school context as well. Was I ready when the seniors left?, be it promotion to jc2, ready for rugby a division competition and a squash senior. I felt I wasn't ready to step into their shoes yet but I had to.
With all the beds being taken up by the new guys when we went back, we sat in the pantry and watched tv, something so familiar when the icts were around. Why did I felt like one this time round? The feeling sucks. Even when it was our shift that was mounting, the moment the shift 4 guys came back, it felt like they had like "taken over" the guardhouse. I felt like a pariah, nothing less. When jason still called me ic while we were in yishun mac, I reminded him we were nothing more than good friends. It's a army position that I've relinquished and it's something I've gotta let go. I bet everyone has seen shows whereby the actor will like stand in the busy of a busy road or street and the cars and people will move past him damn fast. In the meantime, the actor will just feel nonchalant about it. This was a feeling that I had throughout my stay in east. Everyone was like busy scurrying around getting things ready for the audit while I just sat there and did nothing. Yes I am still under the saf but somehow, I wasn't needed.
I just want this army thing to end soon. Even though it's one month plus to go, things seemed to get more and more complicated, with more rules being implemented. I'm glad it's over soon.
