Friday, February 18, 2011
While couples around the world and Singapore celebrated Valentine's Day with their loved ones, I was at home touching up on my assignments. There's nothing to be ashamed of and I did the next best alternative by bringing my parents out for dinner instead. V Day for me was instead celebrated on Thursday (17th Feb) with Miss J over a dinner at Crystal Jade. We ended off the day with some Gong Cha (my first time trying it, still prefer Koi though) before I sent her home. It was nothing fanciful and although girls would like to be pampered at times, I believe we are all practical people. She wouldn't want me to waste money over a day that's so hyped up. In all honesty, you don't need to wait until V Day to be nice and buy gifts for your girlfriend. Sometimes I buy her stuff that I think it's going to come in useful or even simple stuff like sweets that keeps her awake during lectures.
The thing is, I never learn to treasure relationships until it's too late. We might remain as good friends who are comfortable with each other. That I'm fine with it until I realize I still have feelings for her - so not good. The bombshell came when I found out her exchange to Canada has been approved. I want the best for her and give her the support that she desires. Don't picture me as the selfish guy that holds her back from progress cause I ain't that kind of person. 5 months apart maybe a good thing after all and since I'll be busy with my career, there's something to take my mind off her. It's easy to get into a relationship but tougher to keep it going. Think I might have learnt it the hard way this time round.
Seeing classmates and friends settling down and getting engaged does make me wonder when is it going to be my turn at times too. However,I don't know whether Miss J is the right one for me right now. I'm troubled because I'm such a fickle-minded jerk. It's because of this dentistry girl that I recently got to know through my secondary school friend. For the very first time, I actually felt inferior to a girl that I find pretty. For a guy that lacks in wealth and looks, I somehow also lost the confidence that I used to possess. My friends will go like "What's wrong with being a teacher? Is it a disgraceful job or because she earns more than you?" It's not really about that.
This can all be summed up in an incident that happened before CNY. I was doing midnight shopping (opened for 24hrs) at King Albert Park's Cold Storage with my parents when I saw these 2 beautiful sisters queuing at the counter beside me. They were both with their mother who simply looks like those tai-tai that you would classify as a snob. The mother started talking to this friend who happened to be there and remarked "My daughters are all grown-up now, in their final year in law school". I was like thinking, "Wow, smart and beauitful but sucks to have such a mother". I wouldn't want to go to my girlfriend's house and get picked on because I'm seen as this guy who blows a whistle as part of his job scope.
I'm comfortable being who I am and there's no reason to change myself. Accept me for whom I am please.
